Me / Random

Quasi-Guide to Best Friends

I wrote this about two years ago over at Facebook. Heeee. =)

A Girl’s Guide to Guy Best Friends

Disclaimer: See having guy best friends–yes, guys not gays, that’s a different matter altogether– can have different effects on girls. I’m not an expert or anything about girl-boy relationships of any kind. However, I think I’ve learned enough from experience to make me want to share this to others. Maybe it can help… or maybe I just can’t find something productive to do.

1. Guy best friends are tricky to handle for reasons that should very obvious to you: you can’t involve nail painting and make-over sessions during sleepovers. If you’re not the sporty type you’ll probably get knocked out should you incorporate pillow fighting in said sleepovers. They’re not after our own hearts and are totally unlike girl best friends with whom you can whine about your added pounds without having to see eyes rolling or face making…well, faces. They’re guys and let’s face it, even though you’re one of the most important girls in his life, he just doesn’t care about the kind of lipstick you wear or what color goes with what. So rule number one is never ask their opinion on things they have absolutely no idea about. All you’ll get is a crazy look that says, “What the hell?”

2. If they do happen to know what you’re talking about, it’ll be from another planet’s perspective. Ask them if they think your new hair cut looks nice, and they’ll give you a stare that will make you wonder why you asked in the first place. When they do answer, it’s a curt, “It’s alright.” By the time he has given you that response, you’ve managed to berate yourself a dozen times and cursing your inner self because you’ve listened to it’s advice that you needed a haircut. Tsk. So try to not be easily disappointed should you not get your desired response from them. That’s just how they react, don’t go blaming yourself and your innocent hairdresser.

3. Learn to be a guy. This is one of the most crucial points in the whole existence of your relationship. By being a guy, or at least by understanding the nature of these creatures who call themselves men, you’ll be able to understand the 5 Ws and 1 H of their whole being. Understand their need to flex muscles in front of girls; learn to accept the fact that basketball is and will always be their priority; master the art of not talking too much; know when to back off and let them have their space; and most importantly, train yourself not to mess up their hair. Should you learn all of this, then everything will be a whole lot easier for you.

4. Boys will be boys and sometimes they’re gonna forget that you’re a girl. Especially when they’re dumped. They’ll go on about how girls are all the same demanding, unappreciative, PMS-ing bitches, but for the sake of your sanity, please do not take it personally. Best thing to do is to shut up. Guys tend to keep to themselves when they’re hurt, so it’s already a big deal for them to let you hear their rants. Let them run out of steam first before saying anything. I’ve tried arguing with them before and playing advocate to womenfolk, but it never solves anything. Angry people, not just guys, are immune to reason, advice, and reality.

5. In line with the aforementioned boy problems, guys nowadays have so many hang-ups that you’ll find them funny, trivial, and yes, unnecessary. But please, if you value your life, do not laugh at them. It may seem petty to you, but it is a big deal for them. Guys, except those who are inclined to be emo anyway, generally don’t want to dwell on their problems too much. So if they’re making a big fuss over something even though you find it funny, then it must be a big deal indeed. Are they frustrated because they can’t perfect that teardrop shot that their rival smoothly executes? Are they not confident to face the world because their favorite hair wax is out of stock and all there is in the market are hair clay doughs (“I do not like doughs! They’re hard to wash out!”)? It’s like us girls worrying over our broken nails and other female inanities. Just understand them. Or at least try.

6. Now, I know that I paint a very biased picture here, but hey, that’s what I’ve learned. But to their credit, guy best friends are very reliable sources when it comes to other guys. They know what’s the personality of the boy you like. So when you ask them for information about your current eye candy, please believe them. They’re your best friends after all, and they’re guys. They have no reason to lie to you. Unless they like you themselves. Now that’s a whole different matter.

7. The next advise I’m gonna give, will be simple enough to understand: DO NOT FALL IN LOVE. It should be easy to understand right? But, yes, once you’re heart stops thumping to the rhythm of friendship and starts beating a whole different tune, it won’t be so easy anymore. The closeness and the sweetness that he shows you, he’ll be the one to know what that means. It may be because he’s just a sweet guy, or he likes you. Just don’t be too assuming. But when that change happens, I suggest you run. You do everything you can to stop it. If you do not want to end up a cliche like most of us, you’ll run, and run… and run.

8. If you do fall in love… well… you’re on your own there. Because I still haven’t figured a way out of this one. I can offer you one last advice though. This will be hard, but try your hardest not to expect. Expecting changes everything: you, him, the friendship, the way you view your life. Don’t expect. It’ll hurt less.

There. I hope that helps. Maybe, maybe not. Every scenario varies, every feeling differs. I’m not an expert as I’ve told you before, and I’m not imposing any of these things to you. However, I do hope some can relate.

Oh crap.

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